Hey pal, I'm not dead (yet)! ;)
Busy days here, still thinking of changing job, but i'm alive anyway. Life in here is so stressful and I definitely want to escape. But what I realized is my lack of capability. Should learn a lot, should grow power to stop doing something whenever I want to.. For now I do not have such a power so I should keep my fire in.
Montreal! The plan is the only thing which make me excited. Cheer up Jay! You really want to find some motivation in there; to do that you should be in there in the end of June! ;)
2010년 5월 6일 목요일
2010년 4월 25일 일요일
Apr 25 2010
Actually I'm tired of all of these things
Will it be all right if I end up all of these things by myself?
Tired of being useless and lonely
Pal, you said the right thing last night but that was not what I wanted to hear; it was a little too harsh for someone who already had no faith in oneself.
This morning I start to thinking of killing myself, for the third time of my life.
2010년 4월 13일 화요일
Apr 12 2010
In the far Eastern culture there is an old saying:"A master calligrapher never blames his brush." This time I would modify it a bit. "A master-wannabe photographer never blames her camera; she just run her Photoshop."
When I came back to normal life from a couple of busiest weeks spring has already come to me with the gorgeous cherry blossoms. Last saturday, I had to go to office as usual and this photo was taken at that time. I only had a cell phone camera but surprisingly, I am satisfied with this pic. The photo was a bit dark so I modified the level and the color balance but those were all I did on this pic. Well, the flowers are just beautiful as they are, so is there any need to do more? ;)
When I came back to normal life from a couple of busiest weeks spring has already come to me with the gorgeous cherry blossoms. Last saturday, I had to go to office as usual and this photo was taken at that time. I only had a cell phone camera but surprisingly, I am satisfied with this pic. The photo was a bit dark so I modified the level and the color balance but those were all I did on this pic. Well, the flowers are just beautiful as they are, so is there any need to do more? ;)
2010년 3월 27일 토요일
Mar 26 2010
Long time no see!
Went to see a gynecologist yesterday for an annual check. This was the first time for me to go to a local clinic and there were several differences between the clinic and the hospital I've got my surgery. One thing which made me surprised was an ultrasonic monitor for patient in the examine room. In local clinics obstetrics and gynecology are dealt in the same room. Of course almost every gynecologist is also an obstetrician so this is not weird but in the general hospitals they have separate examine rooms. In gynecologic situations patients usually do not eager to see their inner space unlike pregnant women so there was no monitor for patient. But yesterday during the ultrasounds I could see the monitor myself and my doctor kindly explained where my left ovary and uterus are. It was a kind of odd moment. Anyway the doctor said it was O.K. even though I am still waiting for the result of marker test. Based on the other results the possibility is extremely low but just in case.
Went to see a gynecologist yesterday for an annual check. This was the first time for me to go to a local clinic and there were several differences between the clinic and the hospital I've got my surgery. One thing which made me surprised was an ultrasonic monitor for patient in the examine room. In local clinics obstetrics and gynecology are dealt in the same room. Of course almost every gynecologist is also an obstetrician so this is not weird but in the general hospitals they have separate examine rooms. In gynecologic situations patients usually do not eager to see their inner space unlike pregnant women so there was no monitor for patient. But yesterday during the ultrasounds I could see the monitor myself and my doctor kindly explained where my left ovary and uterus are. It was a kind of odd moment. Anyway the doctor said it was O.K. even though I am still waiting for the result of marker test. Based on the other results the possibility is extremely low but just in case.
2010년 3월 8일 월요일
Mar 7 2010
Had a nice lunch with MJ and R. My main dish was carbonara and was a little too heavy for me. (Too classic!) But enjoyable. I'm not so picky in my dishes. While eating desert we made a short trip plan for the next weekend. D decided to join but he seemed to be dissapointed somehow. I know the reason but this time I'd prefer to go on a journey (or shopping maybe? :P) with MJ and others. D's time will come... well he would be angry if he actually read(or hear) this.
Time to go back to the equations. Good night-have a nice dream, which is not allowed for me.
2010년 3월 5일 금요일
Mar 5 2010
Wanted to get up early but I knew that it was nearly impossible. lol But i'm half satisfied since I finished my laundry last night! :D
Falling in love with green eye shadow these days. and coral pink lipstick. Spring mood maybe? Bought some items from road-shop brands and a big one-lancome's glossy lipstick. Loved it! Of course it's a little expensive when compared with my average consumption but the color was way to beautiful so I cannot help it. So green eye+pink cheek+coral lips=perfect for greeting a new spring!
watched full coverage of Olympics opening and closing ceremonies. Alanis Morissette and k.d. lang are my new favs! It's really cool to find great musicians through non-musical events like Olympics. Well the fact is that I'm mostly addicted to Rubinstein's playing Chopin concerto in last couple of weeks.
Busy days seems to be never finished. I still have another appointment with my client this afternoon. need a short nap before heading to tiring meeting.... seeya :)
2010년 2월 22일 월요일
Feb 22 2010
It's only Monday but I'm so exhausted... Slept late(almost 5AM?), watched Olympics, did lots of works , etc. Tomorrow will be even harder. Here are my schedules for tomorrow :
PM 12:00 project A mid-report ppt submission deadline
PM 2:00 meeting, project A mid-report
PM 3:00 meeting, project B
PM 4:00 seminar, project B related issues and dinner appointment with counterparts
PM 6:00 project C poster presentation submission deadline
What the... Am I really a grad? lol
Just started the mid-report so should work overnight. Then 2 meetings, 1 seminar and dinner appointment in a day? Oh plz......... Already dosed up 1 liter of coke zero and a cup of coffee but still sleepy. And the coffee was terrible! TERRIBLE! I refuse to call it as "coffee"!
Ordered fried chicken for a night snack. Should make more than 2 pages before the delivery call. Oh I really wanted to eat healthy food only.. too hard for a person who should do all those things in next 24 hours.
Still depressed. Generally I'm a moody person but in this month I'm fully and continuously depressed. Maybe it's time to meet a psychologist for the first time in my life. But you know what? I have no time. I am not even able to make an appointment with my gynecologist for an annual check. Well... BTW where did I put my post-surgery report? Cannot remember exactly. In my room, maybe? Oh please, it should be there. I do not want to make another personal task in this situation.
Should go and resume working. I'm not sure if there is anyone who read this but good night to you all anyway! Have a nice sleep-that's what I definitely need for now. My only hope? go to bed before sunrise.
PM 12:00 project A mid-report ppt submission deadline
PM 2:00 meeting, project A mid-report
PM 3:00 meeting, project B
PM 4:00 seminar, project B related issues and dinner appointment with counterparts
PM 6:00 project C poster presentation submission deadline
What the... Am I really a grad? lol
Just started the mid-report so should work overnight. Then 2 meetings, 1 seminar and dinner appointment in a day? Oh plz......... Already dosed up 1 liter of coke zero and a cup of coffee but still sleepy. And the coffee was terrible! TERRIBLE! I refuse to call it as "coffee"!
Ordered fried chicken for a night snack. Should make more than 2 pages before the delivery call. Oh I really wanted to eat healthy food only.. too hard for a person who should do all those things in next 24 hours.
Still depressed. Generally I'm a moody person but in this month I'm fully and continuously depressed. Maybe it's time to meet a psychologist for the first time in my life. But you know what? I have no time. I am not even able to make an appointment with my gynecologist for an annual check. Well... BTW where did I put my post-surgery report? Cannot remember exactly. In my room, maybe? Oh please, it should be there. I do not want to make another personal task in this situation.
Should go and resume working. I'm not sure if there is anyone who read this but good night to you all anyway! Have a nice sleep-that's what I definitely need for now. My only hope? go to bed before sunrise.
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